So, in a few hours time, I'll be headed back to Melbourne again.
It's really strange, but it'll probably be the first time I would rather stay here, at least for a little while more.
Perhaps it has to do with the fact that with returning back comes the dreaded burden of work, rent and bills, and for a few days, abit of loneliness. Perhaps I've grown abit more comfortable here, not to mention that I've been living very well for the past two weeks. Perhaps it's the sadness of leaving my parents whom I've become more aware that are growing old and becoming increasingly detached from our lives.
Or perhaps it's just that I'm no longer certain of what is familiar.
It's been a good trip down. Asides from trying to eat as much variety of local fare and restocking up on stuff, I had a chance to spend abit of time with the family, and to catch up with some I hadn't had a chance to. With some I've had a comforting realization that with enough effort, those would be lasting friendships. And with others, I've come to realize that bridges can still be built.
But I must say it was meeting up with the eversohelpfulandcaring sister that started to tweak the ol' thinking abit. Over bowls of prawn noodles and mineral water in a cafe, she (no doubt unconsciously) has inspired myself to get the writing hand started again, and to take more bold ventures into living the life that I want to. Mediocrity is sometimes a sinkhole that you can get stuck in if you're not too careful. If you give yourself enough excuses, you'll never get out of getting by and living the life you want. It's possible, but only if you make the right moves.
And while there's alot of anxiety and uncertainty which will follow me into the new year ahead in a new home with new housemates, there is perhaps a tiny glimpse of rainbow in the shroud.
Because I know I can make it, some way or another. And I'm determined to do away with things that have held me back, and to start putting some wishful thinking into reality.
And I'm gonna start writing again. For real.
"It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some word to make an action
And It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction"
-- life is wonderful / jason mraz
. Arigato .
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