dadaism.

"The problem is, well, is that I'm mad I'm not over you."

"Yet." she hastily added.


He sipped quietly at his coffee, seemingly unperturbed by her rare admission.

"So, what exactly are you mad at?", he asked finally.


She thought hard.

"Well, firstly, I didn't even get a note. You know, the rejection letter. The one explaining why you're not good enough or the 'it's not you it's me' template. At least I deserve that, don't I? Secondly, well, maybe in part with the first, I never got to know why. Why, you know, it's a no. I was kinda left to rue and figure it out on my own."

She was fidgety, and started nibbling away at her thumbnail.

"And, and thirdly," she pointed out, "which was also the most difficult part of it all, was that you simply just...disappeared."

"What do you mean, disappeared?", he retorted. "I was still, you know, here."

"I mean, you would just leave conversations hanging. After all this time of being friends, I thought I could at least be afforded the courtesy of a more decent behaviour. After all, I wasn't being pushy or trying to make things difficult for you, was I?"

"You know I was trying to...tell you properly. I mean---"

"Look," she interrupted. "Point is, and what I'm trying to get at, is really this. That, you know, I just thought you could at least have said something. That's all. That I could have closure and move on."

"Because damn it, Evan, whether you realized it or not, I did love you abit. And I know we weren't meant to have hope and all, but I couldn't help it. I did hope, and well, it didn't work out and I died a little, okay? And I'm sad, and I'm disappointed and I'm mad at myself, because despite me trying to hate you for it, I'm still just trying to get over you, alright?"


The awkward silence hung in the air like a bad smell. Each was silent in their own thoughts.


"You could at least have said goodbye, you know." she finally said.

Evan shrugged.

***


Later on, when questioned, Evan was hardpressed to explain why he had coffee all over his brand new suit for his interview for the new managerial position.


. arigato .