closure.

So, it seems that I have issues. Which is not really a surprise. I suppose the pessimism has to feed off from somewhere.

But I guess we all have our own problems with self-esteem. We will never feel good enough, cause truth is we never are. But we are wish we could be, to be someone better than we are. Aspiration's not a bad thing, but more often than not, we beat ourselves up because we fail to live up to different sorts of expectations.

And the painful bit is coming up to face the truth. That there are some things about ourselves that we can't quite change. And that there are some things that really ought to be.

To feel not good enough, is our tragedy.

But I'm meant to be writing something a tad more cheery. being New Year's and all. Something inspiring and hopeful. Not to say it has been a terrible year after all. It has been a decent year. Alot of good things happen, and alot of unexpected ones as well.

I suppose the close of the year sometimes feel like an internal audit of your personal accounts. This is what you have achieved, and this is the shortfall where you fail to match up, etc (okay maybe it's just me then).

Perhaps sometimes it's just that, even though I know that we will never be able to be perfect. That we still have our chances to work at having better qualities and skills. Yet, regrets come easier than positivity (again, maybe just me).

But it is New Year's after all. As they say, brand new start and chapter and all that. A new year to make amends, resolutions and revolutions.

I guess I'm just not used to looking on the bright side.

But here's to hope. And if one of the things on my list can stay the same at least by the close of next year, I daresay I'll eat my words and owe you guys one.


Here's to a better year.

Goodbye 2009. We had fun. But you're like, so yesterday.


Hello 2010. Be nice, please...


. arigato .