I started a joke...but the joke was on me...

A priest, a lawyer, and an engineer were found guilty of heresy against the Catholic Church, and thus sentenced to death by the gullotine.

When they were marched to the gullotine, the priest was put forward first. When they released the blade, however, it became suspended halfway. The priest immediately declared: "This is a divine intervention of God! You have to release me!" The executors, confused and afraid, reluctantly let him go.

Next was the lawyer. As they released the gullotine blade again, it stopped halfway. The lawyer quickly announced: "According to the law you cannot execute a man twice for the same crime!". Once again, his keepers had to release him.

Last was the engineer. As they prepared to release the gullotine blade for the last time, the engineer yelled to them: "Wait! I see your problem!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Question: Why were there so many blacks killed during the Vietnam War?
Answer: Because everytime the sergeant yelled: "Get down!", they all stood up and started dancing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ah Beng and Ah Lian were taking the train from Singapore to KL. While they were travelling in Johor, Ah Lian started tearing out strips of newspaper and flinging them out of the window of the train.


Ah Beng asked her: "Ooi! What are you doing? Why are you throwing newspaper strips out of the window?"


Ah Lian said: "Aiyoh! You don't know ah? I heard that the strips of newspapers helps keep away the elephants!"

"But there's aren't any elephants in JB!"

"See! It's so effective!", she replied.